Recently a friend of mine said to me, “Michelle, don’t fall in love with me.” Um, Ok. But I already love you (and I know you love me, you grouch.) I’ve loved you for years. We’re friends. Aren’t we? I’m confused. Why is it, that as soon as someone tells us NOT to do something, that is the very first thing we want to do? I was never one of those kids who listened (well). It’s wise to tell people not to do certain things, isn’t it?
What difference does it make who we love and who we don’t love? No one on this planet is going to give a shit anyhow. Even my closest friends, who know me and still love me, will forget soon enough. I always do. And then I move on to the next new thing or person. Love is fleeting at best. Even the people with the healthiest relationships that I know of (if they’re honest) tell me that they fall in and out of love with each other all of the time. And that is what keeps it real. Isn’t it ridiculous to tell someone not to love you? When I die, I want to go out of this world knowing that someone loved me, at least once. And I will. I hope when I die I can say I was loved, A lot! Even when I didn’t deserve it.
Is it my American upbringing, that I am entitled to every good thing in life, that is weighing on my shouders? Am I not entitled to love who I want to love? When and how? Isn’t it a good thing to be loved? And to love? Even it it’s not reciprocated? And who mentioned what type of love??
Just because I say that I love you, doesn’t always mean that I am in love with you. It means to me that, right now, I love you and maybe tomorrow I will love you, and that is enough for now. I don’t have time to “fall” into love with anyone right now. I have a whole world that I want to fall in love with and you are now hindering me by telling NOT to do something.
In the lovely lyrics by The Shins,
“I know that things can really get rough,
When you go it alone.
Don’t go thinking you gotta be tough,
And bleed like a stone.”
I want to love the world and you are in it.