I know that happiness comes from within. Really I do.
There are just times when I feel like happiness is more than that. Shouldn’t happiness be a state of mind given to you by your circumstances or a place? Can’t happiness just be a building or a wall or a statue? I miss Florence. I really miss Florence and it’s fucking with my flow here in San Diego. Everyone tells me to be happy where I am and things will happen the way they should. Well I am going to say screw that.
San Diego has good weather. I will give you that. And some of the best beaches in the world. If you are a surfer, then Sandy Diego is your kind of place. If you are a girl who wants to have fake body parts, say “like” a lot, and prance and preen, you will do well here. If you want to drive in horrid traffic, where EVERY SINGLE PERSON, while driving, thinks they are the worlds best driver, and uses their turn signal to change lanes, by all means, MOVE HERE! I have never really been a San Diegan. I have tried. I moved here in high school and I never really fit in. I have never really fit in anywhere until I moved to Italy. Italy gave me the peace of heart to be able to realize that I belonged to the world. I always knew there was a whole world out there waiting to be explored. I blame my father for this. By the time I was born, my father had been to every continent except Antarctica, thanks to the Coast Guard, Navy and then Merchant Marines. I am certain he would gladly have gone to Antarctica, had the Navy and a penguin invited him! I grew up with Gulliver (my dad) and his travels, not Dick and Jane books. Consequently, because of this, I have an itch that has become impossible to satisfy, once I started scratching it. (Insert penicillin joke here, I’m ok with it.)
I love to travel and now I love Italy. I always knew I would be sad to leave, but I had no idea how sad I would be, and how much I would miss my heart. Because, I left my heart somewhere in Tuscany. I know I will go back to Italy one day. I don’t know when and maybe that is what stings the most. I have a lot of things to do before I go back. There is work, school and helping to ruin my god-daughter… by spoiling her, all waiting for me to realize that this is my reality (for now.) Until then, I have over 5000 photos to share and stories that are waiting to be told…