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There really is not point in going into this. I am just not religious. There have been some good days and some bad days in my life and can hardly blame God or any other superior being/entity for those days. Especially the bad ones. I just believe that if we can all live by the Golden Rule with one another then the world might actually be a better place. But a funny thing happened yesterday while I was at Lago di Bilancino with my new Aussie friends, Shane and the Twinkies, and it made me question the existence of God in relation to the creation of men. So, here is just one little story that will help me clarify the point of my title…

I have a favorite little beach at the lake and even if someone else is hanging out there, I consider it my “God-Given” right to hang out there too. I’m a creature of habit so when I find something that works for me I find it difficult to deviate from the path, so to speak, and that particular beach is now, officially, mine.

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“MY BEACH”

So yesterday, there just happened to be a small group of young men camping on my beach. We could’ve kept on walking to the other beach down the path but that is my beach and it was hot, so I threw my towel down and claimed my territory. The camper boys didn’t seem to mind the distraction of a few girls and some gay boys so all was well. Apparently these boys arrived on the beach by some old crappy paddle boat. It reminded me of the Minnow from Gilligan’s Island. It was floating just to the left of our beach and by the looks of the thing it didn’t have much life left in it for actual floating. More about the boat in a minute… We swam around enjoying the hot sun and the cool water. The camping boys played really bad music on a really bad stereo and hung out either in the forest or their tent, probably trying to figure out if we were friendly beach goers or cannibals. (I guess?) They had a dog with them and finally the dog decided to come over and investigate. He was cute medium sized, slightly spooked, black fur ball, possibly no older than a year. Shane, as usual, wasn’t too interested in sniffing buttholes, so they became dis-illusioned with each other pretty quickly and since we appeared to be harmless, the black dog decided to hang with us on our towels. Seeing the dog attach himself to us so readily, this gave the young camping boys enough courage to come and check out the baking “Goddesses” on the beach. They sniffed around for a few minutes (we weren’t too interested in sniffing buttholes either) and so because the interest wasn’t really there they shuffled off into the water to play on their half sinking floaty. One of the camping boys (6’2″, 280lb tub of love) did come up ask if we knew what the name of the vapor trails were in the sky, in almost perfect english, then proceeded to tell us they were “camp trails,” and that they were poisonous! Uh… No, young chubby camping boy, they are called Vapor trails and yes you are right about the toxins, I would imagine that vaporized jet fuel would be poisonous, but I have not stood behind a jet flying at 400mph to find out… lately.

And then, he shuffled away.

Eventually, the camping boys decided to go for a little cruise on their yacht and as they were all, (5 of them) trying to get on the thing, chubby camping boy decided to get on the front, thereby flipping the double hulled dingy over! It was a classic dumb shit maneuver. There was a lot of screaming and yelling at chubby boy and the ring leader even smacked him on the back of the head. But the best part was when they tried to flip the thing back over… they couldn’t. We sat there and watched the catastrophe that was five young men trying to figure out how to turn a boat right-side up, IN the water. We all commented that we should offer to help, but it was just too much fun sitting there watching them try to figure it out. Fun to the point of being painful. It probably took them a good ten minutes before they figured out that they needed to get the floating disaster closer to shore to get some footing to be able to turn it. Eventually, one grew a brain and they got there and the boat was righted. Because I truly love the Golden Rule… just to make them feel better, the Aussie girls, the gays and I, all clapped.

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And my point is….

So, when I wonder about God, I can’t help but think about how stupid boys really are. And how, if man is created in God’s image, why is he so dumb? Now don’t get your panties in a jumble. I love men and boys, and I love the idea of God. I would actually consider that maybe God is a woman with a really wicked sense of humor, but I think she’s be too practical to be that cruel. For now, I will continue to ponder “HIS” existence until my dying day…

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